some top of the head poetry.

the times I don't feel like I have the right words to say, I can describe it in poetry. im not all that good at it, but i like doing it. so here,we go.

days turn into weeks,weeks turn into months and months turn into years.
fake smile turns into blank expressions, as blank expressions turn into tears.
the curtains are closing on the show I always put on
I'm finally running away, I'm finally going to be gone.

spare me reality, I'm better with these dreams.
but sometimes there frightening nightmares, as it oddly seems.
the dreams are when I can walk, without making a sound.
and the nightmares are of me weighing more than 130 pounds.

where did my self esteem go? It's nowhere in my sight.
I pray for God to help me find it, I pray for it every night.
they tell me the image I have of me is morphed, that it's all in my head.
but if I knew that was the case, I surely wouldn't want to be dead.

so now you know my secrets, and why my fake smile is no more.
you know that depression runs through me to the bottom of my core.
I'm fighting this tough battle with no emotion on my face.
I'm just trying to find reassurance, in this dark of a place.