I can't do anything right

I feel like I pretty much fail at everything. honestly. I can't stand who I am. I've been so utterly depressed lately I don't know what to do.

I wish I was just, pretty. I was just perfect. I wish I had some self-worth and some mother fucking self confidence. I wish I wasn't so god damn selfish. You know there kids in africa who's biggest worry is if they can find food today? and yet I'm so fucking self absorbed into my looks. god. I disgust myself.


I've been thinking more and more about suicide. just fucking doing it. just fucking not caring who gives a fuck about me. but that would be selfish. I don't want to be selfish. I want to be perfect.


I wanna be flawless in every sense of the word. I wanna have the perfect body and the perfect face. I wanna be cute. I want to be loved. all I've ever wanted was just to felt genuinely cared about by a boy. I want someone to kiss my forehead and tell me I'm beautiful. I want love. I want to feel it deep in my bones. I want it. I thrive for it. I want fucking attention.

I want someone to want me, to notice me, to like me, to love me, to hold me, to kiss me, to miss me.


I'm disgusting.