.

I feel as if I need to love myself. I need to accept who I am and what I look like. I don't even know where to begin with that. Honestly loving myself just seems like a foreign language. I feel as if I don't deserve to love myself. I feel as if I would love the way I looked I would just be another ugly girl that think shes hot shit but shes not. I feel I would be cocky. I feel like I don't deserve it honestly. Someone like me shouldn't be loved by any one, esspecially not herself.


But, I want to love me. I want to. I feel as if I shouldn't, but I want too. I feel as if I don't deserve it, but I want too. how do I get somthing I shouldn't have? How do I get somthing I don't deserve? How?

I don't know. I just don't. I don't know where to begin with anything.


I'm see my therapist tomorow at 11. Hopefully my regular one is back, I miss her. shes gonna be dissapointed I've rellapsed into cutting.


I wish I was skinny. the end.