soooo

ive lost weight. yay.

debating if i should tell danny about my eating disorder. (dannys my boyfriend) i dont wanna scare him off, but it's gonna come up. hes been wanting to go out to eat and stuff and i dont. he asks me why i dont eat around him and honestly it's because i dont want too. it's weird because when I'm with him I don't get triggered to binge or eat really at all. I don't know if it's because I'm nervous to eat around him but idk. ill have to talk to my therapist about it.

so...me and him already kinda did stuff. i sort of gave him a handjob, it was a bad one lol. he fingered me and ate me out for a lil bit. idk. mostly we just kinda cuddled naked. I really like him and it's like so comfortable with him. i feel like so happy. I just always wanna be with him. He's so great. I know we wont have sex but I'm scared too. i'm pretty sure he's gonna take my virginity. I want him too. just not right now. at least 6 months. thats what my rules gonna be is 6 months.

sigh. i don't ever wanna have sex truthfully. i just want 43488394 cats for the rest of my life. k cool.