4 fucking days of pure binging. this was the week where i really wanted too restrict because i go to the doctor on friday, and thats sort of like, an official way in for me. i 'm gonna fast for three days and work out. i'm gonna do it.
i feel so big it's disgusting. ive been lowering my medicine because i'm switching to prozac cuz it helps more with bulimia. it didn't really effect me until this week when i had to start taking only a half. now i've been feeling like crazy suicidal and sad.
friday can't come soon enough. i need my drugs. lol but seriously. the only reason why i'm actually sort of functioning is because i have danny. he makes me forget about things.
i wish i could just tell him everything. i don't think hell ever understand completely. i wish he would.
he's so great. i want to marry him someday. is that crazy?
i feel so big i could seriously cry. like it's like i'm getting bigger by the second.
fuck my eating disorder. fuck recovery also. fuck life. i just wish i didn't have to deal with it. just lay in bed with danny for the rest of my life. that's the kind of life i want to live. lol. but im serious.
i love sleeping and i love danny, those things combined=happiness.
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