i was doing good today but then BAM parents came home with food and my fat ass binged and purged. my stomach hurts and my throat. i hate throwing up
im so sleepy, but im glad because it's 10:00 now and if i go to sleep now ill get like 8-9 hours of sleep! woot woot.
ive been better lately. raising my zoloft to 200 milgrams helped a lot. I feel better, not 100% but its progress.
I still feel shitty about myself. not necessarily suicidal though. i mean im always suicidal i guess you could say. if i could push a button to die or to live i would push to die. even when im happy im sad, does that make sense?
i wanna date carlton, but im not sure if he would wanna date me. its so awkward because we have health together so when the teacher talks about sex i cant help but blushing. teehee XD
i really do like him. i bet in a month though i wont. im so flippedy floppedy when it comes to guys.
babysitting tomorrow. getting money for cigs yayz only have three left wahhh
well i would write more but like I said I'm super tired. stay beautiful bitches. love you all.
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