to recover from my eating disorder. i hate it. i don't even like going out anymore. it's ruining my relationships with other people and making me very closed off.
id rather just lay in bed and starve or just binge and purge all day.
and that is scary.
it runs my life. i definitely understand why people personify there disorder. it really is like someone else living inside you, telling you what to, controlling every thing you do.
i hate it so much but i can't let it go. i want to recover. i can't. it's like i get mad at myself when i say that. isn't that sad?
i havent cut in 40 days. yayyy.
im too lazy to get my kindle from downstairs so im just gonna read on my iphone. its not the same though as my kindle fire. haha.
i just wish i could be a normal teenager and not have so many problems. i just want to be happy.
congratulations on not cutting. that's wonderful. :) and i'm sorry you feel like you can't recover... i hope that changes one day and i wish you luck, whatever happens.
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