I don't know whens the last time I've been happy. I'm sitting here crying and I don't know what else to do. If I talk to my mom she'll just try to throw some more pills at me then will breathe down my neck 24/7. my friends don't understand. no one understands except my therapist but I only see her once a week. I need cigs but my dad fucking took them.
I want to die. so bad. I can't do it around the holidays because thats just bogus. I just don't wanna be here. I want to kill myself. I hate living and I hate everyone. I just need someone to listen. I just need someone.
ugh. I think I'm going to kill myself after christmas if things don't get better..I don't want to die I just want things to get better. but nothings getting better. everything is going to shit. I'm a fucking ball of crazy and I don't want to live anymore.
fuck everything. I just want to sleep and never wake up.
Honey i feel the same like the only way out is death. I hate living uncertainty of when this shit is gunna end? But thats just life its hard and it does fuck you over. But theres next year which lies hope. A fresh start where your in the driving seat and you can do anything. I mean the only thing thats stopping you from being happy is you.
ReplyDeletehow do u know in 2 weeks time its not gunna get better? or two years or twenty?
youve been given an oppourtunity to discover the world to grow up and experience amazing things you just need to have confidence in your place in the world you have the right to be here crazy or not
you can always talk to me i always read ur posts
much love and never lose hope
xx
I know i don't know you, but i just wanted to say DON'T KILL YOURSELF please. Okay? i've been suicidal before, but it gets better, really. i know. everyone says that, but it's true. you just gotta tough it out & be strong.
ReplyDeletesorry if i sound weird.. i saw your blog on your PT signature, and then saw that post.