poetry, because I don't how else to express myself right now.

Not very good, writing this at like 5 am, a little disoriented so may not make much sense. but, neither does life. so there ya go.


this scares me.


the beauty of the blue skies stop me in my tracks.
the clouds dissapear slowly like my hopes and dreams.
if only I could dissapear just as the clouds do.
then I would be free.
And this scares me.

I want to fade away, slowy in the backround.
I want to be unheard of, and unspooken of.
I want to be not even a thought in anyones head.
I want to be diseased, never even born.
and this scares me.

the emotional pain has a tight grip around my neck, not letting me grasp for air.
I ask for air, and in exchange I give my blood.
my emotional pain turns into physical pain.
and another scar has another story.
and this scares me.

oh beautiful blue skies, If only I was as beautiful as you.
you make life seem so simple, you make peace an option.
but then it starts to rain, and you're beautiful no more.
you fall as the tears fall down my face.
because I know, that even a beautiful sky like you isn't always perfect.
and this scares me.