if I'm going to kill myself, I'm going to get a full proof plan and all of my necessities in order. I'm still working on all that. I'm just, impulsive I guess. I was going to write on here what all I wanted to get in order before I planned my suicide, but I figured that might be too shocking for all you too see.
My friends are like begging me to go to hooters with them. NO! seriously wtf! my one friend was like come on your scaring me blahhz. guess what cool! I'm not eating. I told her you want me to be in a good mood don't you? that's gonna make me in a bad mood for the rest of the night. I ate yesterday and I almost offed myself then and there. I want to have fun tonight. I want to drink and smoke and forget about life. With calories in my system that's not going to happen. so I guess this is them slowly realizing, without me exactly telling them "Oh shit, kaci's being for real. she has an eating disorder."
I'm fasting today. yay. I'll prob consume calories from alchool, but I figure that shouldn't be that big of a deal.
I'm not eating. there gonna try to force me but I'm not. it's done. fuck no.
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