who the fuck am i

who was I ever
who have I become
I disgust myself
Im worthless.
I'm gross.
I'm ugly and fat and disgusting.

I don't want to live. I don't. I seriously just want to kill myself and pretend I never was alive.

how are people happy? I don't get it. I'm not. I'm a sad little girl. I'm only sixteen. But yet I know so much, I'm exposed to the cruel world. I know what others don't. I'm pitiful, waste of space, worse person ever. no one will ever love me. ever. why do people use me?

I have a guy that would treat me so good. But I don't like him. I'm trying to make myself like him and I'm just leading the boy on. I don't know what to do.

kill me. I don't want to deal with life.