I just want to run, throw it away.

It's stupid how much I like you. It's your fault you know. You say all these sweet things to me then you leave me hanging. I know the tricks men play, especially to vulnerable girls like me. I honestly don't think you care about me at alll. I think you just want the sexual stuff and like how attached I am to you. You were really nice at first and at times you still are but it's obvious you would not care if I just left. 

I want to cut so badly. I thought I grew out of that stage but omg do I want to cut. I can't. If he sees my scars that will just start another fight and probably make him run away from me some more. God I'm so fucking pathetic. Screw him. Screw boys screw school screw fucking biology screw my fucking messy room screw annoying men who won't leave me alone on the internet screw my fucking job screw my fat ass body.

It was so much easier when I was dating Danny. I fucking miss him for that reason alone that life was so damn easy

Mynor will probably text me in the morning. Call me up to just break me like a promise, so casually cruel in the name of being honest.

BECAUSE HES AN ASSHOLE AND IM OBSESSED WITH HIM BECAUSE HES SO GODDAMN CHARMING AND SOMETIMES HE CALLS ME BEAUTIFUL. But mostly he treats me like dirt. 

He probably would cuddle with me for about two minutes and then be like ight time to suck my dick. I'm so sad ugh. I've lost fifteen pounds since me and him started talking. Lol I feel like I have to be skinny to measure up to him.

I wish I could tell my therapist the truth, what type of person he is and what are relationship actually is and were we met. 

I wish I could be pretty and smart and skinny and not so sad. I'm failing all my classes except for like one I'm a fucking mistake and should not of graduated from high school early. 

Who am I kidding? I try to act kind an adult but I'm just a fucking child. I'm an idiot 

Literately I just wish I could just stop life.