I'm not sure why but I'm longing for someone to hold me more than normal. My heart feels like it's being ripped out and stomped on for no apparent reason. I just feel like crying and screaming and throwing things and hurting myself.
How nice would it be to run a blade through my skin? Such a release. I want to feel physical pain. I'm craving it.
I feel like dying and in a painful way. I just want to stab my heart and forget I ever lived. College is too hard. I hate it. Life is too hard. I just want to hide from the world and never come out. Lay in bed and watch netflix all day. I don't want responsibilities. I want to be carefree.
I hate me I hate me I hate me. I'm such a pouty little girl I wish I could grow the fuck up. I'm so annoying and worthless. I don't deserve love. I don't deserve it.
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