Friday, August 8, 2014

None of this even makes sense lol

It's like I want to be happy and I know the things I do ultimately won't make me happy but I can't stop doing them.

Every time I leave counseling I'm always down to change my life but shit never happens. I suck so much.

Boys will never make me happy. Why can't i just accept that.

He has so much charm but he's not good. He doesn't want me he wants someone else and he wants to make me her.

I'm too fat for him and I'm not physically fit for him and he wants to meet up with me but I don't want him to see me naked.

Can I just maybe ignore him until he goes away? It's what I do best.

But part of me doesn't want him to go away.

I don't know if I want a d/s relationship anymore. Sex is great but I really don't know if it's healthy for me.

And this is when I get suicidal because I just don't wanna deal with any of it anymore

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