Being excited to weigh yourself in the morning.
I've lost 5 pounds in the past week, hopefully lower tomorrow
I've ate around 400-700 calories for the past week now plus exercise.
I'm so proud of myself, for once!
I think I'm over Danny idk tomorrow I prob won't be it changes on the daily.
I don't need him and frankly I don't want HIM. I just want somebody.
I shouldn't of never had sex with him.
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Life is exhausting
You didn't even care. You might of said you did, but you didn't
I didn't want to lose you. You were my everything and now were strangers.
I hated you and loved you. You weren't good to me.
But yet all I want is you on my lips again, stroking my hair and making love to me.
I'm better off without you but I wish you wanted me back just a little. Please act like you care.
For once I just want someone to be scared to lose me.
I want to die. This sleeping medicine is right next to me, wonders what happens if I take all of it?
I'm so fat. You left me because I was fat. I let myself get like this.
I just want to cut. And die.
Maybe you'll actually give a shit then
I didn't want to lose you. You were my everything and now were strangers.
I hated you and loved you. You weren't good to me.
But yet all I want is you on my lips again, stroking my hair and making love to me.
I'm better off without you but I wish you wanted me back just a little. Please act like you care.
For once I just want someone to be scared to lose me.
I want to die. This sleeping medicine is right next to me, wonders what happens if I take all of it?
I'm so fat. You left me because I was fat. I let myself get like this.
I just want to cut. And die.
Maybe you'll actually give a shit then
Friday, August 16, 2013
Oh and btw
I'm actually fat now. Not like I have an eating disorder so I think I'm fat but actually fat.
My parents even tell me I need to lose weight lol.
So there's that
My parents even tell me I need to lose weight lol.
So there's that
Don't need you
No. I'm not going to let you control my life anymore.
I'm fine without you I don't need you and never will I again.
You were a good experience but that experience is over with.
I don't ever want you back.
I don't know why my thoughts lead to you but I don't need you nor do I want you.
You're not mine and I'm not yours. Ill never be with you ever again.
I don't want to be sad over you. I don't want to do that. I don't need you.
I'm fine without you I don't need you and never will I again.
You were a good experience but that experience is over with.
I don't ever want you back.
I don't know why my thoughts lead to you but I don't need you nor do I want you.
You're not mine and I'm not yours. Ill never be with you ever again.
I don't want to be sad over you. I don't want to do that. I don't need you.
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Breaking up sucks
Me and Danny broke up. Pretty sure it's for good.
Honestly? Think its for the best. It just sucks ya know?
I loved Danny yes but I was just using him as a way to be happy.
I'm so scared about losing him because I didn't know how, still don't know how to deal with my problems, and he was how I dealt with my problems.
Any kind of my self esteem comes from him.
I'm about to start my senior year. He's going to college. We fought a lot and sometimes just seeing his face would make me want to lose it. We weren't supposed to be together.
He's the guy I lost my virginity too. I'm always going to remember him. Somewhere deep down ill love him forever. He's just not the one.
He treated me like shit. I tried to act like he didnt but he was very negletive. He rarely told me he loved me. Only time I ever felt something meaningful is when we had sex.
All these things were true but I didn't want to let him go. And now he's gone. I'm happy but then I'm sad. I know I'll be okay. I haven't ate since the break up. I'm gonna see how tomorrow is and see how I react towards food.
Ill be okay. Lets hope.
Honestly? Think its for the best. It just sucks ya know?
I loved Danny yes but I was just using him as a way to be happy.
I'm so scared about losing him because I didn't know how, still don't know how to deal with my problems, and he was how I dealt with my problems.
Any kind of my self esteem comes from him.
I'm about to start my senior year. He's going to college. We fought a lot and sometimes just seeing his face would make me want to lose it. We weren't supposed to be together.
He's the guy I lost my virginity too. I'm always going to remember him. Somewhere deep down ill love him forever. He's just not the one.
He treated me like shit. I tried to act like he didnt but he was very negletive. He rarely told me he loved me. Only time I ever felt something meaningful is when we had sex.
All these things were true but I didn't want to let him go. And now he's gone. I'm happy but then I'm sad. I know I'll be okay. I haven't ate since the break up. I'm gonna see how tomorrow is and see how I react towards food.
Ill be okay. Lets hope.
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